Human development and performance expert Dan Stanley is a retired award-winning senior army commando, a contributor in a multi-million-pound service business, the former owner of a successful fitness company, and until recently, the national champion in indoor rowing across multiple distances.
The married father-of-two today runs an exclusively male coaching business which has helped hundreds of men with their wellbeing – Better Men. Focusing on men has given him the expertise to analyse the cult of the Andrew Tate phenomenon and explain why it is growing.
“In the wake of the pandemic, war in Europe and Brexit it’s unsurprising that someone like this has established a voice. That’s in large thanks to social media because whoever shouts the loudest gets heard.
“Another “why now” explanation is that boys, adolescent teens and men are feeling lost. He gets their attention with his form of masculinity.
“The Andrew Tate call to arms isn’t new. Men coming back from the war with shellshock, what we now know as PTSD, had to suppress those feelings and the men did move on giving birth to the baby boomer generation. The acceleration of capitalism and consumerism came at a cost and that’s the repression of men.
“In 2023 men have been left behind in so many respects. They are fearful of speaking up in public. Today equality is about other diverse groups. Men don’t have the same representation in society. All fertile ground for the views and of someone like Andrew Tate to take root and grow.”
Today Dan has written a guide on the subject “Rethinking Masculinity.” Based in Wales, he coaches men from New York to New Zealand in become better, more purposeful, more productive and higher performing versions of themselves. He also organises monthly hiking get togethers for men.
“The current form of masculinity isn’t toxic but it is dysfunctional. Think about those phrases bandied about “man up” or “big boys don’t cry.” So many men are caught up in the game of life assuming the job, the detached house and the German car will make them happy and are totally lost when it doesn’t.
“Along comes someone like Tate communicating a hyper masculine message via lots of preachy statements and that’s not where we should be going.
“It feels like a competition between men and women. No one wins if we’re competing instead we should be role modelling for the next generation.
“We should be encouraging boys and men to focus on positive role models such as David Beckham and Tyson Fury.”
Stanley speaks from personal experience after going through his own midlife crisis at 34. It’s why he launched his coaching business four years ago.
“I’m a father of two, a loving husband, a son and confidant to many. I’d accomplished the male triumvirate of success: in the military, sport and business. Yet I still felt lost, confused and directionless.
“After years of introspection and coming to understand the “myth of masculinity” (by that I mean pinning everything on external success) I found myself. It’s why I am passionate about helping other men when they find that personal success doesn’t equal happiness.”
Dan’s book Rethinking Masculinity: A Modern Man’s Guide to Succeeding in Life was published last year. More information on Dan Stanley’s coaching business can be found here: https://www.better-men.uk
